HILARIOUS: Open letter to UNILAG girls from the UNILAG Boys Association

Oh my goodness! please I need somebody to help me laugh before this laughter burst my belly into pieces. You just have to read this: 

                                                       
                                                    UNILAG BOYS ASSOCIATION

      A.T. RAPHAEL                                                                      10, UNILAG UNION ROAD
     UNION SECRETARY                                                              DATE: 24th June, 2014.


                                                                   PUBLIC PLEA
The above named association (UBA), will akin to bring to the notice of the general public (especially our dear UNILAG sisters) the outcome of our last monthly convention held on the 20th of June 2014 at the Union Secretariat. 
  
The executive committee of the association, after hours of deliberation over the performance of its members in the forthcoming semester examination.  (A meeting which led to some of our executives exchanging blows. Our very own Comrade Danjuma is still receiving treatment at the medical center, our dynamic comrade Ndubisi has been transferred to LUTH for further medical attention and our very strong willed comrade Wale is in the intensive care unit of the medical college after receiving several blows to the head) The remaining executives have hereby resolved to plead with the general public and our beautiful sisters on campus, urging them to suspend the following activities: 

1. Walking about in bum shorts. (we are people’s children)
2. Wearing leggings material. (especially our very blessed sisters with a great past)
3. Wearing of very U&V necked tops. (especially our very anointed sisters with bright future)
4. Wearing of jump up skirts aka ko dorokun or fosoke skirts.
5. Wearing of clothing that resembles fish skin.
6. Wearing of transparent and net material cloths. (this one is very important)
7. Seductive walking steps. (this one is really very important)
8. Touching of our members. (principally when you know nothing will happen)
9. Using bedroom voice to call members of our great association.
10. Meeting in unique places that we all know.(front of amina hall, lagoon front, amphi theater ,         edu love garden, ISL fence and other key locations on campus)
11. Wearing of bumbum.(we are soon to brand this a criminal offence and act of deception to            humanity)

 The motive of drawing up the above activities is not in an unappreciative intention, but to help our members to focus on their exams (some CGPA’s don dey near lagoon oo, while some don reach lagoon and currently swimming off to God knows where). All activities will be recommenced after exams (and everything go level again).

 We are very sorry for any inconveniences that this exercise might cause during the exam period, but it should also be noted that our union members would be going through a difficult time as well, (body no be firewood naa) hence, all parties involved should bear through this trying times.
NB: Na God we dey take beg una oo. And in everything you are doing, Remember there is God, because no be only you waka come unilag.

Thank you and God bless. okai continue!

Signed-
Secretary,

Abejide. A.T. Raphael.

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