HILARIOUS: Classification Of UNILAG Girls According To Their Hostels

I found this funny write up somewhere and I decided to bring it on here, though I have removed and added some, based on some funny facts I know about this issue. Make sure you don't laugh too much as you read on.

When people hear the phrase UNILAG GIRLS, some thoughts pop into their minds. Some think UNILAG girls are Aristos, some think they are classy, others think they are materialistic, another think of them as Runz girls, some see them as parole girls, and some see them as gold diggers. 

Well to all these, I can't say you are wrong or right but all I know is that, they really like entering sophisticated cars.. hehehe. Yes! nice cars I said, not that your kind of jalopy..lol.

Also, not all these terms are true though, not all Lag girls are aristo’s, not all of them are parole girls, but there are 3 things they all have in common which is their love for money, their love for jumping in and out of different cars and also their unconditional love for chicken and chips. (They are very happy now that the strike has been called off today.. the strike has been a bad market for them)

There are 7 female hostels in UNILAG, namely:

1. Amina, 2. Kofo, 3. Makama, 4. Fagunwa, 5. MTH 6. Moremi, 7. Honours.

So lets begin with the classifications.

Makama Girls: 
It is said that to get a Makama girl all you need are 2 hot meat pies and a chilled bottle of fanta and she’s all yours (patapata); just make sure the meatpies are hot and the fanta is chilled, apparently they prefer it that way. 


M.T.H Babes and Fagunwa Chicks:
To get a MTH and Fagunwa babe all you need is just 200 Naira suya and they are yours, if you’re feeling buoyant you can manage to buy them chicken suya instead, things like that tickle their fancy. 

These three hostels are situated close to each other inside New hall (Unilag Ghetto) thus making them neighbours. People say new hall girls don’t have class (true), some say they love to party hard (very true), some also say they are cheap (well, not so true) but we all know they ain't that classy #smh.

Every time I go to visit someone (Girls) in new hall I’m always ashamed or scared, I’m always scared cuz new hall boys might rob me and beat the crap outa me and I’m always afraid that some new hall girls might obtain me and share the money amongst themselves to buy suya. 

Most 100 level girls stay in these 3 halls thus making them jobless, they never stay inside their hostels so it’s not unusual if you see them roaming around new hall looking for boys to buy them food and other edible trinket, for now let’s call them Ghetto Girls or Suya Girls.

Moremi Girls: 
Also known as chicken and chips babes, to get an audience with a moremi babe you must submit a plate of chicken and chips and she’ll
listen to you. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they will answer you it just simply means they’ll give you an audience. They prefer older men with cars and they date guys with money and mostly club boys, but we have some good girls (nerds) amongst them. Lets call Moremi girls Chicken and Chips Girls.

Honours Girls: 
Australia is a county where people know about but nobody visits, that’s exactly how honours hall is. Its situated in a bushy swamp in the middle of nowhere so they barely get visitors. Most times I go there I see men with cars toasting those small girls, honours girls are boring girls with no event in their life so let’s call them Village girls or Bush Girls. You need to see how they use to beg boys to come to their hall week, the place is fucking deserted. I feel your pains and cry for you babes.

Amina Girls: 
I’m pretty sure you have heard about aristo and runs girls in UNILAG, well 70% of the aristo and runs girl stay in amina hall, the hostel is situated at the main gate area of the institution, so when those bros that their wives have traveled to the UK, that bros that just got a job in Chevron and those Alhaji bringing bringing come to pick up girls, they quickly branch at amina to negotiate the price *coughs 50k* and they carry the girls for outside flexing. 

Come and see different cars parked in front of their hostel most especially at night (They are right there as am typing now). So lets call them ARISTOcratic babes.. lmaoo. 

Ah yes!I must not forget, Amina hall has one mad kissing spot outside it just right in front of the Queen Amina statue, That’s where you’ll find some broke El-Kanemi boys without rides, kissing their babes as if they come to study "KISSIOLOGY" in UNILAG, Anyway, it’s always a pleasant sight to watch. Also to the extreme of this same Amina hostel is a miraculous, small but mighty garden, like I said in one of my previous posts, its indeed a place for signs and wonders, ask Biobaku boys, they will tell you HOWFAR..lol.

Kofo Hall: 
Also known for its Aristocracy acts, this is another car park its very close to Amina hall, one can hardly differentiate their customers from that of Amina's cuz their clients sometimes park their cars in front of Amina. Though, I have heard some guyz complaining about their hall week, one guy even said and I quote " I can never go for Kofo hall week even if am paid to". But han han now! its not that worst, all I know is that Biobaku boys will never joke with this babes, may be because they give them free mighty and wonderful sights most especially when they peep from the toilet that faces Kofo hostel.

I also hear that, If you’re the type of guy that double date, you are advised not to try such with a girl in any of those 3 female hostels in new hall cuz gists travel faster than an Aeroplane in there. 

Find a girlfriend in Honours and another side chick in newhall, the probability of them meeting is very slim. 

Finally, If you have money and you know you’re ready to spend then you should try dating one Emerald babe, i.e the female hostel outside the school, located directly opposite to the school gate, they are classy and poise women who like the good things of life and also enjoy being spoiled silly. Its even a very good opportunity for you to know different kind of sophisticated gadgets and expensive phones e.g iPhone 18, BB 30, customized ipads and all, just get your mind and purse prepared. 


All in all we love Unilag girls and we are always proud of them, they should just have a rethink and amend their ways in some aspects, especially as we are resuming fully by January. 

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